Year in Review: A Smudgy Tale

The second baby happens faster. The second time is faster.” I repeated over and over to myself as I power walked around my yard. I knew you were coming. The hot August sun caused me to sweat in places I had never known were possible. My thighs rubbed together. If you think you can’t get chub rub while wearing spandex, then you have obviously never been 10 months pregnant in August with a 10 lb baby. I poured water on my head. I listened to motivation rap music that would be perfect for a warm up tape for basketball games.

Fear creeping in and out of my mind. I had Ben naturally. Would I have to have a c-section this time? Could I possibly do what I did last year again? First babe took me about 30 hours to evacuate. 30 hours of labor, woof. Was I calmer because I knew what was coming? Or was I scared shitless because I knew what was coming?

I can do this. Obviously! Do I really have a choice in the matter?

I am woman, hear me roar… ect.

Okay husband dearest. It’s game time. Things are escalating quickly. I’ve taken 12 showers. Well maybe just one shower off and on? Does it only count as one if you never get dressed in-between getting in and out?? Who knows.

Husband is staring at you as you waddle out of the house, holding your tooth brush in a plastic bag. Uh oh. Here comes a big one. You freeze on your lawn. Hold your breath. Squint your eyes real tight. The intensity is paralyzing. You start to feel it stopping. You stand up. You immediately turn to the side and vomit all over your lawn. Husband sticks his head out the window of the Jeep and says, “Do you to go back in and brush your teeth?” You cut him off saying, “Do I look like I want to go brush my f-ing teeth?” Whoa nelly. We have gone into the dark animalistic portion quickly. All dignity flies right out the window. Let’s get ready to rumble.

You live about 20 minutes from the hospital. On the highway you stick your face against the window and watch the trees pass. You and husband are not talking. This is your second child. You both are well aware that this night is going to be full of curve balls. That no one can tell you exactly what will happen, but something big will happen no matter what. You turn the radio up.

Husband drops you off on the side walk. You begin to have a contraction as he pulls away to go park the car. It is just you and a random woman sitting 10 feet behind you on a bench. You are sure this is the most awkward scene you have ever been in, in your entire life. Which is definitely say something because I’ve been in some doozies. I’m gripping the no parking sign like it owes me money. Trying not to moan out loud. Not really caring about what this woman thinks, but actually not really wanting her to talk to me. Or help me. I just want my husband to hustle.

“So you having a baby?” Says bench lady.

Who me? No you are mistaken. I’m actually just the fattest schizophrenic ever.

Hmm.. That would not be a nice thing to say to this innocent by stander. So you settle on, “Yes.”

“Wow, are you having twins?”

You are not my favorite person right now lady. You throw up in the hospital bushes and walk inside and climb on the elevator. You see your husband running after you. You pretend you are going to let the elevator doors close on him. You laugh for the first time in two hours. He leaps his hot dad body into the elevator and you, husband, and the hospital janitor head on up. Husband puts his arm around you. You feel your shoulders relax.

You are checked in. 7 cmm. Game time.

Things escalate quickly. You have like 4 nurses in there with you. Every one is trying to help out because things are escalating so quickly. You can’t stop shaking. You can’t hold still when they put the IV in. So therefore, your arm looks like this.

You go from 7 cmm to fully dialed and ready to push in two hours. Uhh.. So ya, it is faster the second time around.” My body definitely knew what to do.

I don’t remember a ton from those two hours. The things I do remember are:

I was losing a lot of control of my body.
Peeing on the floor. The nurse saying, “Oh yay! Maybe your water broke.”
I said, “Keep your voice down Marissa! I definitely just peed on the floor.”

Weeping and muttering rude comments about the anesthesiologist because he would not put an epidural in my back. I have metal rods in my spine from scoliosis.

I was telling one of the nurses how rude he was to me at my consultation I had with my first son. I had always been on their radar because of the rods. I had to meet with Anesthesia and some other people in preparation to my sons births.

He had ultimately said it was my choice during the month leading up to it. On the night, while my friend was crowning. He just said, no.

Well, because the nurses are awesome. They went down there and gave him a piece of their mind. I over heard them while Josh and I were in the bathroom saying, “I went down there and I was like listen. That little girl up there needs something. Her body is going haywire. You can say no to the epidural but you are going to tell us what you can do for her.”
“He’s such a dick.” said the other nurse.
Hahahaha. Thanks Denise. I hope those Dunkin Dounuts gift cards that I sent to the hospital brought you joy through delicious warm coffee. It seems silly now. I wish I could have done something better for the nurses. How do you thank someone who goes to bat for you when they don’t even know you?

That anesthesiologist came up and did a spinal block. I was 99% sure husband was going to puke or his head was going to snap off from how hard he was trying to look in the opposite direction while keeping his hands on my shoulders. When the anesthesiologist came in the room, he did not say anything to me or the nurses the whole time. He said “bend forward” and “done.” Then walked out.

Oh well. Onward and forward. The midwife came in. Told me to push. Immediately put her hands in the air and yelled “STOP PUSHING!!!” The babies arm was hanging out. Waving. Hahahaha. I thought husband was going to die. The midwife had to push his arm all the way back inside so the head could come out first. As soon as that was done. I pushed TWICE and there he was.

The smudgiest ball of human you could have ever imagined. His legs so stuck up against his chest. They didn’t descend for at least two weeks. The midwife said he probably got so big that he spent the whole end of my pregnancy stuck in one position.

Umm… I hate to break it to you dude, but you’ve been born.

He was a giant bowling ball of love. So heavy and sturdy. Desperately clinging to me. He was perfect. He made our family complete. My heart was so full. I couldn’t wait for Ben to meet him. He was out. He was breathing. He was healthy. He was ours.

Life was never the same…

Year in Review: A VERY Smudgy Tale
I looked like this August 2014.
You arrived. Ben couldn’t wait to meet you.
Not going to lie. I had to save you from Ben daily. 
He was still a baby himself at 13 months old.
You were born with man hands
But you fit in perfectly at our house.
Someday’s we never even left the house. 
But we got the hang of things eventually.
Once we got the hang of things, 
we had to adjust to me being a working mom!
 You have an awesome Dad.

And a pretty cool Mom, if I do say so myself

No wonder you are so great!
Let me tell you, Ladies love JW.
Probably because you are always up for some fun!
You love to learn
You don’t think your a baby. 
You think you are a toddler.
Watching you and Ben become friends
 has been the the greatest joy of my life.
You guys don’t always see eye to eye.
But the brotherly love is real & AWESOME
You are very physical and freakishly strong.
(By 6 months you were full crawling wherever you wanted to go.)
(By 9 months you were pushing this chair around the room and using it to climb on up furniture. Needless to say, that chair is in time out right now. Until people can stop giving their mother a heart attack and sit in it like a gentleman.)
 We celebrated some holidays!
You prefer that either Papa or Caleb hold you. 
You are messy and demanding

You can say “More” “Go” “Mama” and “No” They are all demands when you say them.
You started going down the playground 
slide alone at 10 months
You are most definitely a CAPE COD kid
You are wild and free
You love the water
You can mean mug with the best of them!
You amaze me every day.
I’m so proud to be your Mom.
It’s been a wild year.
Together we made this brand new floor put in Aug 2014…
Look like this.
Poor Daddy. Always yelling at us for being wild filthy bandits. Doesn’t he know that dirty floors are a sign of happy kids? All our muddy feet made this house a home.
We have happy kids.
Nothing could have ever prepared Dad and I for how much we love you.
Here’s to many years of laughs in our house. 
Dirty black feet. 
Tents made of blankets.
 Hugs that last too long. 
Jokes that never get old.
 Because I found Daddy and I thought I was lucky. 
I had Ben and I knew happiness that I could have never dreamed of.
 Then I had you, smudgy baby, and I felt complete for the first time in my whole life.
Love you smudge dog millionaire. 
Happy 1st


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