THE ABC’s OF TODDLERS
A acrostic type poem by Somebody’s Mother
Apple. I will eat only half an apple.
Bandaid. I would fake any injury in the world to receive a minion bandaid.
Crayons. I regularly eat crayons.
Dog. I open mouth kiss my dog.
Eat. I could eat snacks all day long.
Fire trucks. Fire trucks make me shit my pants in happiness.
Go! I yell “Go!” at my Mom while she puts on make up in the car in our driveway.
Happy. If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Ironic. It is ironic that when I am overtired, I fight sleep so hard.
Jam. I like to jam out with my Mom and have dance parties.
KRAFT. Kraft Mac and Cheese is delicious.
Learn. Playing is how I learn.
Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse is my drug of choice.
NO. Just no. No to everything.
Outside. Everything is better outside.
Pacifier. I hope to take my pacifier to college with me.
Question. My favorite question is “why?”
Rash. Diaper rash is the pits.
Seat. I like to stash secret snacks in my car seat.
Tubby. The tubby is a place to eat bubbles and turn the bathroom into a water park.
Up! Please pick me up,hold me tenderly, and carry me around like you’re my chariot, when I shout “up!”
Very. I like bouncy houses very much.
Wail. If you do not give me a popsicle at 6 AM like I have demanded, I will wail.
X. An X marks the spot for pirate treasure as far as I’m concerned.
You. I need you, Mom.
Zzzzzzz is the sound of bedtime. So don’t you dare laugh at any of this and wake up my kid. I’ll come to your house and give you a wedgie.