1 YEAR & 100 POSTS LATER…
Somebody’s MOTHER is now 1 year old. THANKS for reading homies!
We’ve all peed our pants from sneezing or trying to partake in recreational activities.
That’s not just me right?
Anyways,thanks for reading along!!
Did I learn anything in the past year you ask?
Oh I sure did!
I learned a lot this year. We are kinda crunched for time though, because I have a date with Netflix in my bed that I’m looking forward to.So I’ll just give you the most important thing I learned then:
Honesty is the best policy.
Be courteous to others and honest to yourself.
Writing makes you learn things about yourself. Therefore, what I learned is, kindly let people know this is who I am. Take it or leave it. Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. Never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
I spent my youth being so afraid. Afraid people would know my Mom was an alcoholic. Afraid everyone would assume that then I obviously would be an alcoholic as well. Too many days throwing up smoke and mirrors, Irish catholic style, for my liking. So much worry wasted on what other people would think.
Then I became an adult. Made my own family and I was like uhhh… New plan! How about we talk about our problems and deal with them and then move on. Cool? Alright cool. Because to quote the wise Sarah Silverman, “Deal with your shit or your shit deals with you.”
Being honest rules and it attracts the right type of people for you. For me, it made many women reach out to me and tell me their stories. Confide in me! Encourage me to keep writing! How awesomely humbling is that?
So in celebration of how much fun it is to tell the truth and be your weird honest self, here is a random list of truths I made for you!
-Girls take big craps. (Sorry guys!).
-Your bridesmaids bitched about you while you were in the other room.
-At some point in your life, you were somewhere in public and did not have a tampon when the devil began to dance.
-Some people are still against medical marijuana. Now that is just silly bananas. The medical need of marijuana is incredible. This has nothing to do with the legalization completely, just medically speaking. So here is something to learn about before you make bold statements with your beer breath on my face at a party! Please check out Charlotte’s Web and other researchers that are helping children with seizures immensely. Giving children more quality of life then they were ever able to have before. I like to think that people who don’t know much about the topic are picturing little kids smoking bongs.Because it literally could not be more opposite.
-You have probably farted and blamed it on your kid.
-Your husband pretended to be asleep on the couch when you came home from work at 10 pm. Then went you went upstairs to bed, he continued watching The Hobbit.
-Women were assumed to be less intelligent than men due to Science from oh so long ago. The man’s brain was assumed smarter because it is physically larger than a women’s brain. But now WELCOME to 2016! They figured out that women’s brains are much more complex and can handle a whole lot more than men’s brains. Which is why men are always like “Women are CRAZY.”
Yes, yes we are crazy. Bat shit crazy, yet, crazy awesome at the same time.
-Your Dad is going to die someday. I know, I could puke on my keyboard just typing that. The other day my Dad casually says to me, “Well you know I don’t have another 20 years. No man in my family has lived past 78.” He said it like he was saying, “Ya, I ate a bagel today.” Gasp. I said, “DO not say that! You aren’t allowed to anyways. Who would I call everyday while I’m bored and driving?”
-You are getting gray hair! One day you will just be doing your pre-work routine and your like, what is the meaning of this tinsel? It is not Christmas! People get older.It’s happening.
-Everybody comes in your life for a reason.
-Be kind.Don’t go on the internet and yell at people or tell them how to live their life. Go to yoga and work your shit out.
See? Don’t we all feel better now that we admitted that out loud? Wait, just me? Hmm. Oh well…
Oh wait, one last thing…
I also learned that I should spread love in as many ways as I possibly can. It’s really not that hard. If you are kind to people, there is a ripple effect. Do good and good comes back to you.
Bandit had a lot of love to give. So I figured we shouldn’t be so selfish and only have Bandit hug us. I decided he needed a career. I was like okay, “Okay Bandito, you and I are going to therapy school. You need to stop being a freeloader and taking 10 naps every day in my bed because you learned how to open the door like a jerk. It’s time for you to become a professional hugger.”
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HAPPY 100! Rest assure that Ben, Jack, Bandit, and I had a dance party to celebrate this occasion. Then again, we dance every day.