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Real Mom Truths for Every day Conversations

Conversations and cultural norms are what make us civilized right?

Okay sure. Let’s go with that.

 

People are always saying, “How’s it going?”

and I smile and say, “It goes!” or “Good, how are you?”

You get it. Pleasantries. Normal adult stuff.

I’ve been having such a crap week but nothing earth shattering. You know those times where small things go wrong. Even though it’s small annoying nothingness, you can’t help but always think of the expression “when it rains it pours.”

 

“How’s it going?”

You answer, “Good.”

You answer good because your life is good! You don’t want to be any one else. You don’t want to be anywhere else.

Yet, what if for one day I walked through my life with no filter (basically Jim Carey in Liar, Liar.) Every time someone greeted me, I told them one or two ridiculous, awkward, or unfortunate thing that has happened to me earlier that day. What if I left my social filter at home. What if I preached my #momproblems across the land? Mostly for my own entertainment.

 

How’s it going?

“My son did not want to nap. He was up there yelling and shouting in 2 year old exhausted ranting. Then as luck would have it for him, he took a poop in his pants. Took off his pants. Took off his diaper and threw it at his closet door. Disgusting battle tactic. Toddlers are animals. They are my favorite people in the world, but they are animals.  So please with himself, he says into the monitor, “Hey Mom, You going to be so mad.”

 

 

How’s it going?

“I just had a mini panic attack that I locked my children in the car. Then realized I was holding the keys in my hand. Overtired Mom for the win!”

 

How’s it going?

I peed my pants while chaperoning a school dance from excessive dancing. That one’s on you Ben and Jack.

 

How’s it going?

I take my 1 & 2 year old to the grocery store every week with me. Enough said.

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How’s it going?

My toddler just saw my nipple fall out of my tank top and proceeded to jab his finger into it and invert it. Laughing and yelling, “what is that thing?”

 

How’s it going?

My ONE YEAR OLD son thinks he is 4 years old? He has no fear and makes my stomach drop on a daily basis. My FULL time job is saving his life. He is too smart for his own good.

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How’s it going?

I ran into my coffee table trying to get my dog to go outside.

 

How’s it going?

My one year old yelled in my face for 20 minutes straight because I wouldn’t take the lawn mower out of the shed.

howyou

 

How’s it going?

I was watering all my flowers at 6 AM and heard the kids wake up and start yelling. I booked it inside and forgot to shut off the hose. It has a handle on the top that holds the water in. Yet since I left it on all day, it did leak at the spout down the side of our house and into the basement. Nothing like feeling like a royal idiot and having nothing to say but… I’m sorry. I suck.

 

How’s it going?

I haven’t seen my siblings since April and that makes me homicidal.

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How’s it going?

I cried while watching home videos last night. I have lived more years of my life than without her, yet every time I hear my Nana’s voice, I feel a deep pang of hurt. I miss her every day.

 

How’s it going?

 SLOWLY. I’m not a famous author yet.

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How’s it going?

Good. I just silently farted the entire time we approached each other.

 

How’s it going?

People smuggle markers around my house like drug lords. Even when you think you have everything safe and secure, some mornings you wake up to this…

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How’s it going?

I’m pretty sure my kids are plotting against me.

howyou3

 

How’s it going?

Good. It really is good. It’s good because it doesn’t matter what has happened throughout the day. Small potatoes compared to the good that surrounds your whole life. My life is good because it’s supposed to be messy. The messy is what makes it real.

It means I love people more than myself.

It means I put myself out there and try.

It means i’m alive.

 

So maybe I won’t share it with the lady in line with me at the grocery store. Maybe i’ll save it for the friends.  Maybe i’ll save it for the Mom’s who need to laugh. For the Mom’s who need to know that someone else is out there messing up. Fumbling through motherhood. Yet, continuing on every day and getting better as I go.

 

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