For the past three years, we have been busy.
Became impregnated. Took belly pics like this at 5 months. Thought being pregnant was adorable.
Then THAT (see picture above) became THIS….
10.1 lbs of man beast baby.
I spent the entire month of June 2013 sitting on a frozen bag of peas. Thanks for the pressure dude.
Then he showed up. Leisurely I might add. Feel free to be two weeks late man. Oh while you are in there can you figure out how to play jump rope with my sciatic nerve some more? Don’t worry, he eventually showed up. 10.1 lbs of awesome. The first thing he did in this world was take a giant poop on my chest. I wasn’t worried about it a the time. I loved him anyways.
The journey for me was super tough. Lack of sleep. Hormone tornado. Non-awareness of how my diet was slowly tearing my body apart. Becoming a parent is an adjustment like no other.
Good thing he was worth all of it.
So I needed another. You know I am greedy for babies.
This guy showed up..
So OBVIOUSLY it was the right decision.!
Beautiful, life altering, madness.
Sometimes older women in the super market check out will say,
“Aw!How old are they?”
“Ben is 18 months and Jack is 5 months.”
The woman just laughs and shakes her head, “Got your hands full eh?”
This stranger is laughing at you. Directly at you.You chuckle as well. It’s like they know without me saying any words, that this morning, I wrestled and pinned the older minion down while he twisted his body and swung his poop covered butt at me. You keep his feet pinned together with your right hand, and you have 27 wipes in your left hand and you are just fighting the good fight. Finally when you get the diaper on and think you have won the battle. You look over and see your baby puke all over his play chair and the dog is licking it up. Yup, sounds about right. Filthy frat house.
The lady in the grocery store gets it. She has been there.
You got on that magic carpet and flew into a WHOLE NEW WORLD.
A beautiful world.
A confusing world.
A happy world
A infuriating world
A special world
A humbling world.
A world I am so proud of.
But it is A LOT of FREAKING work.
It can cause stress.
Stress makes people fight.
People fight when they have small children.
That is the truth.
So husband dearest and I needed a refresher. We needed a mini vacation.
You know.. hold hands in a street, kiss on a dance floor, give him a “credit card” (You know, swipe your hand up his buttcrack. Outside his pants. Don’t be a pervert.) Then die laughing at the sight of him lurching forward, thrusting his hips at the group of men he is drinking beer with outside a wedding tent. Oh is that last one just me? Normal adults don’t credit card their husband and then keep walking past? I guess I didn’t get that memo.
Alright, it was decided. Good old fashion fun is just what the doctor ordered. Well not so much the doctor, but more the relationship therapist who lives in my head.
LET someone help you. If people out there who love you, want to offer support. Take them up on it. Don’t dwell on whether you are asking too much. Blah blah blah mom guilt stuff ect.
Drop off your children. Give yourself a pep talk about how you are going to enjoy this time. You know they will be living it up at Nana and Papa’s.
GATHER A TEAM OF HUMANS WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH.
Mom patrol, ready to roll:
Oh ya, and we brought our husbands as well.
Oh and don’t you worry. Seeing the boys when we got back was my favorite part of all. I think the four of us did a variety of extended group hugs all afternoon long.