I try and not give advice to new parents unless they specifically ask for it. It’s their journey. I don’t want to project my crap on them. Their spouse, home, amount of children, career, weather ect. will all be different than what I experienced.
The truth is everyone has to figure it out on their own.
The only piece of information I will give to new parents is that parenting is a paradox.
Two opposites can be true at all times in parenthood.
TRUTH: Bath time is fun
TRUTH: Bath time is where dreams go to die.
TRUTH: I’m proud that my second born is fearless.
TRUTH: I’m terrified that my second born is fearless.
TRUTH: Your children will bring emotions to you that you had not once been in touch with, extreme happiness.
TRUTH: You children will bring emotion to you that you had not once been in touch with, extreme worry.
TRUTH: Holidays are fun
TRUTH: Holidays are not fun
TRUTH: My children are the most beautiful, kind, best people in the world.
TRUTH: My children may be satan’s hand puppets.
TRUTH: My boys are my best pals.
TRUTH: My kids talk a lot of shit.
TRUTH: Our home is something I am so proud of. It’s a symbol of something my husband and I have created together.
TRUTH: If I have to clean this house one more time, I may just burn it down.
TRUTH: I’m prepared, over prepared, and ready for anything.
TRUTH: I can’t find my keys most days and can be seen dressing like a color blind gym teacher.
TRUTH: Sometimes Bandit is my best pal. I’m thankful for how kind he is to our children.
TRUTH: Sometimes I can’t look him in the eye because I just witness him eat my toddlers poop.
TRUTH: My boys are best friends.
TRUTH: I have to remind the boys not to assault each other.
TRUTH: My kids create beautiful works of art.
TRUTH: My kids create rage inside me.
TRUTH: My kids are obsessed with me.
TRUTH: My kids would climb over my dead body in order to grab an ice cream cone.
TRUTH: I am the happiest when surrounded by my family.
TRUTH: I want to be alone.
TRUTH: At least once a week, we go on a fun adventure to learn and grow.
TRUTH: At least once a week, I hand them the iPad and hide from them.
TRUTH: Pregnancy is an amazing, life alerting experience.
TRUTH: Someone stitched my underparts from this 10lb man’s debut.
TRUTH: I regret nothing.
TRUTH: I regret nothing.
It’s all true.
The happy, the sad, confused moments, guilty, moments, intense elation, heartbreaking sorrow, tested limits, sleepless nights, reasons to be a better person, absolute love, displaced anger, raging laughter, more singing, true perfect moments, pride, hope, patience learned, stubbed toes, curse words muttered under your breath, silent tears running down your face as you drop them off at their first day of school, exhaustion with a touch of joy.
It’s all there.
That’s why it’s confusing.
That’s why the only advice I can give to a new parent is get ready to feel everything.
Then realize it’s okay to feel a lot of things. Just regroup. Let it go. Keep moving forward for those tiny tyrants that you love so deeply. They are watching you. They are learning from you.
Teach them it is okay to get angry sometimes. It’s how you deal with the situation afterwards that will shape your life.
Remember, an adventure and an ordeal are the same thing depending on your mindset.
Goodluck, may the odds be ever in your favour.