Home Sweet Home

Growing up in the same house your entire childhood gives you a pretty decent sense of security. Whether you know it or not Therefore, to have it abruptly end when you are 18, your parental units tell each other to F themselves and we all go our separate ways. Oh we all knew it was coming. But those years were the years you were in high school, how inconvenient and emotionally scarring. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. Long story short, for a long time, I was a lost soul. Not an unhappy soul. Just lost.
Now as an adult I’ve realized that at some point in every one’s life everything goes to shit. All that matters is what rises out of the ashes. What you decide to rebuild. How you evolve as a human being. I’m not telling you these facts to make you feel bad for me. That’s not the point. Don’t worry about me, I’m sure I’ve had more fun in my life than you. No, I tell you because it’s important piece of the story.

Now with my 30th birthday on the horizon, I’ve gotten to see first hand that your life is actually a journey. Enough stuff has happened to me for me to understand that, I will be okay. I’ve watched my family fall apart. I watched endless amounts of people die. I’ve watched people in my family grieve in a very dark way. I’ve been tapped on the shoulder and sucker punched in the face. I have seen the pain of suicide. I have watched someone fight addiction first hand. I’ve had someone tell me they don’t love me anymore. I have felt the sensation of having no home. I’ve watched people I love head over seas to protect our freedom. I have made millions of mistakes. I have hurt people that I love.
Yet here I am. 

 It’s amazing what can happen the day you decide to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. What can happen the day you decide to not carry those heavy burdens any more. You are not what happens to you. You and just you. The most important key you must remember is that EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING.
Stop believing what you see on social media. I LOVE social media. But I love it for what it is. I like seeing my old friends get married and be so happy! I love a good elephant getting a bath video. Sometimes I need to take a quiz on what part of the country I should actually live in. You know, real important things. Mostly, I like to use it to share pictures with my family. Most of them do not live near me! Staying in touch with them is important to me, and this makes it easy for me to share pictures of the boys with them.
My point is, I keep it light.  When Ben spent 3 days at Children’s hospital up in Boston, I didn’t tag myself there and put up pictures of him in that sad hospital bed crib. No I did not. I was too busy crying in the Au Bon Pain, pretending to choose a bagel, like any Mother does. In my mind everyone who needed to know where we were, knew. I didn’t need my high school gym teacher to send me prayers. Now, please don’t be offended. If you share stuff like that, that’s totally cool. I’m just making a point that people need to stop reading so much into Facebook and Instagram. It’s a filtered life. And that’s okay.
Sometimes I can’t really believe that people get depressed because they think other people’s lives are so great via social media. “Ugh, What am I doing with my life? Amy Lynn ran a 10K last weekend and she has posted pictures of salads every day this week. Gosh, I need to be more like her!”
Well guess what. Amy Lynn also ate ice cream and cried in her tub last night and shit her pants at work last week. She just couldn’t manage to update you with that status because she was too busy hanging onto the towel rack for dear life.

All those quotes on Pinterest that I read while I drink coffee. (Yum, coffee.) They are cliche. But cliche for a reason. They are true. And most importantly, the pep talk feeling they give me validates some of the time I spend on Pinterest. ( I pin for my mental health, says the pinterest addict. Haha.)

Mic drop right?

You probably never will! You don’t know any one’s whole story.

So you focus on you. You spread love like wild fire to the ones you love. You support the ones who support you. You let yourself change and grow. You say things and do things now that sometimes you don’t even recognize yourself. Transitions are strange. It’s okay. All you can do is look around at your life and pick out the good. Look for the light in people and act as though that is all you see. The nicer you are to people, the better side of them you get.

Because who cares about the bad? When you figured out how to get so much good. Plus look at all the faces you got to love along the way. Even when the time were tough, there was always good.






 Then after a lot of self awareness. Yoga. Actually asking for help. Al-anon. Awesome friends. Decent siblings. Better nutrition. More water, and then more water. Then more drinking water. Oh and then more yoga. 

A funny thing happened….

 And the story changed forever.

You like a good story? 
Okay, okay. I’ll tell you a story.

Twist my arm.

It’s a tale of growing up.

Once upon a time,

A guy built a house with his brother. He is obviously Noah from the Notebook.

But then he fell in love with a fairy tale princess who curses like a sailor.  Exactly his type.

So they went on a long journey to sell his house he built and buy a home of their very own. Excuse me, I mean castle. Castle of their very own. I was telling you a fairy tale, was I not?  Well buying a house can seem like a long Quest at times. There were many many bumps in the road. People said things to me like, “Don’t worry, it will all work out in the end. You will find the right house for you guys.” The girl would snicker. Poo Poo your cliche comfort!!
Yet, that is exactly what happened. Haha. The process was long and I now know why all parents growing up could sign their name the exact same every time. All you have to do is buy a house and it’s like signature camp. I never had to stop in and sign my name so many times in my life. You know what’s not fun? Bringing a 10 month old into realtor offices all the time. Ben’s like whoo hoo! Welcome every body to this afternoon’s game of let’s see what I can break at the realtors office! He successfully ripped off her door stop during one visit. Don’t ask me how. I was too busy signing my name.
I would say to my sister on the phone, *Insert sarcastic tone* “Oh is this why people buy a house before they have kids? Well, what would be the fun in me taking every one’s advice? What’s the challenge in that?” Haha I jest. But seriously, it was a lot! At times, it sucked. Being pregnant, having an infant, and going to house showings all the time. Not exactly a groovy lifestyle. In the middle of walking around the yard of a house being shown to us, I’d just sit down on a stone wall. Husband would look back 10 minutes later when he realized I wasn’t behind him. I’d say, “Just leave me. Save yourself.”
Now hold onto your seat. Because this fairy tale does have a happy ending. After what felt like one million days and two million nights. We found a HOME. We bought a Barn that was renovated into a house. Mostly because, that’s awesome. Well and also because husband wanted a project house that we could renovate. He is super talented. So I’m game.

Now due to the fact that the husband is a hard working crazy person.


SLOWLY, a house became a HOME.



The girl in this tale was pregnant during all of this. It was also summertime. She packed up her whole house herself. Then tons of nice people moved all the boxes for her. The child was a terrible assistant. 

She made a good morning wall. When you come around the corner of the stairs. This is the giant wall you see first thing in the morning. It reminds them all to be grateful. 
I put up all the pictures I love best. So that the first feeling I feel in the morning is grateful. Well, okay let’s be serious. Sometimes I stumbled down those stairs at 4:30 AM to make a bottle and I look at that wall and shake my fist and say “ingrates! All of you!” Haha. Middle of the night Mom is a scary beast. It’s best to steer clear. Drink  your bottle and go back to bed. Mind your business.

They watched the seasons change in their new surroundings. Had an awesome time seeing the boys experience so many things for the first time!


Winter was um, challenging. 


They kept reminding themselves that they choose to live in New England. Or stop complaining and move somewhere warm. You have a lot of options. But this is now our home. So we embrace it.

They finally did it. They got married, had babies, and bought a house. Wow. Now let us all take a deep breath and enjoy the fact that our only job right now is to fill this barn up with memories.

Not all days are perfect.


Some how the Mom does all the cleaning, yet never has time to clean her own room. She’s so busy maintaing the rest of the house. Her bedroom is now a place where laundry goes to die. 
Oh and every day she is dressed like a color blind gym teacher. But THEY HAVE HAPPY KIDS! 
They have a dog who is a freeloader.
So they are grateful. Every day. They try to keep things in perspective. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Isn’t it funny though? The girl in the story got a beautiful house. But in the end that’s not what saved her. It was just some smiling faces that did it. Doesn’t really matter what structure they are in.



The first year was successful. The house became a HOME. 


They laughed, cried, and yelled at each other.
In the end…
It’s true, what I love best about 
my house is who I share it with.


Happy one year anniversary of owning our house. 
It better be overflowing with happiness considering what we pay in taxes!!
Thanks for every thing jb.


So BECAUSE we have had a pretty AWESOME first year. Now, stop it home owner grumblers. I know houses are never ending maintenance. I know they will cost your a fortunate at the worst possible time. I get it. But if you physically can not stop complaining, maybe you should get a one bedroom condo? No one is making you own a three story house. Oh well, so anyways, we are focusing on the god damn memories. If you feel like being negative, beat it. If you are interested in making memories at your house, I’ll give you a few tips from our play book on how to make your house happy.

EAT PIZZA, It’s delicious.
No babies were harmed in the making of this photograph. 
Mom still has cat like reflexes and can give a toddler the hesiman at a moments notice.


Sometimes you find your toddler in a trash barrel. 

 Haha. Oh com’on helicopter Mom’s. Don’t sneer at me. 
It’s empty. I had just bought it. I am not taking a picture of my kid 
practicing to be a dumpster diver. 


No one ever developed Pro athlete motor skills by getting fed too long by spoon from Mom.


There was a scientific study that proved that children need to be hugged 25 times a day in order to not grow up and become a serial killer. So get off your iPhone and go hug your kid. Geez. If you needed a scientific study to remind you to hug your kids multiple times a day then please take your hand and bash it against your face. You deserved that.
Okay well maybe I made that study up. But the point remains the same.
Hug your kids. Laugh a lot. Make blanket forts. Throw water balloons at them when they get off the bus from school. Roll down hills of grass. Yell animal noises at animals. Dance. Dance more. Go outside as much as possible. Let it go if people’s feet are dirty in your house. Let them have tons of friends over. Catch frogs. Wear sunscreen. Eat watermelon. Dance while eating watermelon. Hug your dog. Hang up your children’s art work. Get off your iPhone. (Well after you read my blog and click on the ads so they throw me some dough.) Then! Get off your damn phone. Swim. Howl at the moon. Play flashlight tag. Make a time capsule. Stay outside when it starts to rain. Point out every plane.
You will never get this day back.
So Cheers to the first year.
and here’s to a whole lot of years of paying our mortgage!
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