Home is Not a Place, it’s a Feeling.

Look at the the guy all the way to the left (he’s pointing).

 I watched him marry a beautiful woman this weekend. 


I love being an adult. I don’t wish to go back to adolescence, high school or college. Well, let me be more specific. I think I’d like to go back to college to actually learn. Not just have little responsibilities and spend a lot of time tanning and drinking beer with my friends. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of living up your youth. I think it’s important to have as much fun as possible. It makes growing up easier because you have been there, done that and you don’t wonder “what if” as much. OH, and you learn A LOT of lessons of what NOT to do! As a kid, I never liked adults telling me what to do. Even if they were wise and I should have listened. I know that now, but hindsight is 20/20.
Now I just live my own life. Own my own home. Do my own thing with husband dear and it’s great. There are bills to pay, as always. But the independence feels good and feels right. I got to experience making my own family. Once I saw those blue eyed babies it became impossible for me to wish to go back to another time.
One area of adulthood I do struggle with is missing my family. I live in my husbands hometown. I love it. I don’t wish to live anywhere else. As people get married and change careers, every one’s geographic location begins to shift around. Life takes us different places. Every one is on their own adventure. But I’ve got a sister who is a Southern California surfer babe. I have a Father and Step-Ma who got on the snow bird band wagon way before most people do. Which is awesome for them. But Florida is far away. I got a set of twins who are younger so they are in the middle of the mid 20’s debate of where do I belong. It takes time. Patience is a bitch. They are everywhere but here, where I live that is. My Dad has three brothers. His brothers and their wives all gave me some cousins, who are still to this day, some of the funniest people I have ever met. At this point in time we are all scattered across New England + 1 set of Californians. All of us seem to be exactly where we are supposed to be! Still, that doesn’t make it any less sucky that we aren’t all together.
Due to divorce and alcoholism, my childhood home does not exhist anymore. Pine Acres Rd. is just a memory and that’s okay. Because although I am a creature of comfort, I know in my logical brain that a house is just a house. I only loved it because of the people inside. I never even realized my house wasn’t “nice” growing up. My college friends came to visit one Summer right before it got sold. When I went back to school some drunk guy was like, “Ya they said your house wasn’t nice at all.” Two things came to mind #1 Why would you ever feel the need to say that to me?  #2  I guess my house is not like other people’s houses. But then again, I suppose I always knew that. My life isn’t like any one else’s life either.
It was a summer camp on a lake that my Dad converted into a house. We had 3 dogs and a cat. Always an assortment of fish and other lake creatures that the twins had caught all hanging out in various coolers and baby swimming pools in the back yard. I painted ONE wall in my room  bright red. I slept on a futon for a while. That was just what I wanted for a bed. My parents were getting divorced and had four kids, they didn’t have time to care about what I did to my bedroom. All four of us had the friend that never left. So at any given time there would be 8-10 kids at our house. There was a corner of the wall off the kitchen where we marked our heights right on the wall. We had a shower head in our upstairs bathroom that never worked my entire childhood. We showered in the basement in the sauna down there. The sauna never worked for our entire childhood either. The washer was in the kitchen, the dryer was in the basement. It was flawed, but it was home. So to wrap it up, no one from Town and Country was coming to take pictures of our lakeside home.
Good new though. Our house was fun and it was real. All my friends had such beautiful, expensive homes. Yet we were always at my house. Interesting…. It’s almost like material things really only can give you so much satisfaction in life?
So our house was sandy, like literally, we lived on the lake. I would walk in the house without even washing off my feet. Haha. Kids are the worst. Basically in the Summer you just wore your bathing suit all day every day. Sometimes I’d even try to wear it to bed and my Mother would tell me that if I didn’t change I’d get “raunchy rear” from sleeping in my bathing suit that I had swam in all day. Haha I’ll take my chances lady. Living on the water is really fun. I may miss that most of all.
Now that I’m an adult (allegedly), that home is long sold. Someone has renovated that tacky 70’s kitchen into the modern era. Some stranger sees handprints of ours in every piece of cement poured on that property(which is quite a few, considering my Dad is a Mason). They took down our tree fort. Bastards. SIDE NOTE: I used to think my parents were great for building us a tree fort up in a tree that had electricity and a sweet cargo net to head down. Turns out, now that I’m a parent, I see that they really did that for themselves. We slept in that thing ALL Summer long. Typical conversation:
Twelve year old ME: “Can I have 3 friends sleep over?”
Father: : “Ya, as long as you sleep in the fort.”


So you think I’m playing my tiny violin? Sure am. Boo hoo. Poor Britt, with no childhood home. But don’t feel bad for me because I found a loop hole. I don’t need a house to feel like home. All I do it gather up these people, hug them tight, and I can feel the sensation of a home. It’s kind of like a magic trick.

All of them live at least 2+ hours from me. So whether we all meet in Maine, Cape Cod, Boston, California, Lunenburg, when I’m around any of them I get the feeling of home. It’s a calming feeling and I love them for it. Because they don’t have to do anything but be themselves. The most convenient part is that it is portable. All I have to do is be with them. We have all gone on our separate roads, but nobody knows you like someone you spent a childhood with.

The older you get the faster time keeps flying by. It’s 2015. Isn’t that the future in “Back to the Future Part II?” So Michael J. Fox can confirm that we are living in the future. WELCOME. Haha. Seriously though! Babies grow so fast. All the seasons go by in a blink of the eye, well except for Winter. Obviously.


  You don’t. You don’t have time.

Your life just keeps rolling..
I mean like the great poet Kenny Chesney says, “Don’t Blink..”




The years only get faster. The good news is that we continue to add awesome characters to our entourage along the way. So I can only imagine who will show up next.

Considering everything above, you can see why I love opportunities to hang out with my first friends.

I love celebrating love. So this past Saturday we celebrated the shit out of some love and family.

The venue, stunning.


   Photo by Lacie Fontaine Photography.  www.lacyfontainephotography.com
Photo by Lacie Fontaine Photography.  www.lacyfontainephotography.com


Photo by Rachel Proctor. Who is great at capturing the memories, just like her Dad.


The decorations, immaculate.

The bride should know that she did a wonderful job planning. She should also know that none of that mattered. Ya you heard me. The perfectly selected place cards. The white lights wrapped around the banister. The hand painted oars. They were undoubtably beautiful, yes, but still not important. The beauty of this wedding could not be decorated before hand. It was one of those weddings where you could just feel the love radiating around. Nobody could deny that.

There were physical signs of this! It could be seen by the excessive amount of hugging that was going on. There was a lot of hugging. The fact that no one could even really sit down. There was immediate dancing. That is an excellent sign of happy people. Oh and most importantly, there were these two smiles. They were big and they were contagious. And they decorated the room better than any flowers could.


 So in honor of the time that I got to spend with my original homies. I’ll share with you my favorite parts about this glorious day.


Three generations of strong beautiful ladies tearing up the dance floor.



The brides Father made the cake. Don’t get me started on how much I love a good Dad.
 That just because it is a fancy party doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still laugh and have fun. After all, that is what my family is best at. Sammy stole the show. After he walked down the isle the entire church applauded. The groom had no idea this was going to happen. His face was priceless as well. It actually was kind of perfect because you sometimes need to cut the tension from the heightened anticipation of the girl of his dreams showing up. You could see the grooms shoulders relax after that and then he was ready for the main event. Good work Sammy!

My Brother took the wine cork they were handing out and plugged the top of his Sam Summer with it. He then proceeded to walk around the entire wedding telling people it was his “Roofie guard.” Hey, we never claimed to be a mature.. We do clean up nice, but its a diversion. Haha.


I snuck upstairs during cocktail hour to see the main hall. I caught my God father and his grand daughter having a moment. I got to watch like a fly on the wall  while he spun her around when they crossed the dance floor. They then had a very serious conversation about cake. He is always so engaged and attentive when he is with his Grandkids. He’s so much like his Dad in that way. His Father was my Grandad. So I know how she feels in that moment. Special.


Lastly, I loved watching these dancing fools. Happy people dance. Especially happy Proctor’s. Plus not only does it make me happy, it proves my point that it is annoying and untrue when people would be like “Oh poor Mark. growing up with three sisters and no brothers. That’s rough!” I don’t get why people say that. Can’t you see here, that he clearly has two brothers?


Can’t wait to see what’s in store for you guys next.

This picture was taken at my wedding. We had all met Katie the day before for the first time at my rehearsal dinner. We all knew then where this was going. Gosh, I love being right. Haha. xo


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One thought on “Home is Not a Place, it’s a Feeling.”

  1. Brit,

    This was beautiful. I did not get to go to the wedding and share in the festivities. I loved reading about it in this blog. You are so talented.

    Cousins are your first friends. Lots of love going on at this wedding.

    (been a long time since I have seen you, I am John and JImmy's sister)

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