Ugh I still have to go pick up the pies. Why does Thanksgiving dinner have to be so late in the afternoon, when the boys will be tired and crabby. I need to go to the grocery store. Hmm… The grocery store the day before Thanksgiving may be where my dreams go to die. Why didn’t I prepare more ahead of time this week? Maybe Josh is right, maybe I am inefficient. Have to make a list. Man, I should just have Thanksgiving at my house so I don’t have to drive anywhere. Wait, then I’d have to cook. Scratch that. I should run the Turkey Trot in the morning. Thanksgiving is so boring. Just eating and sitting. We need some fun active traditions. Maybe I’ll start an annual touch football game at our house on Friday? Let every one go to all their obligations on Thursday. Then have a clown around day here on Friday. But when will I go to the grocery store to make crock pot chili for this shin dig?
Your incessant pre holiday mind rambling is interrupted by coughing.. baby coughing.
Hmmm… maybe we aren’t going to Thanksgiving after all.
Hello, Emergency Room. Steroid shots. Breathing treatments. High fevers. A baby who is holding you so tightly that you are pretty sure your skin is morphing together.
The hospital staff kept saying, Oh sorry you had to spend your holiday in the hospital. They were all so kind.
It did suck.
It sucked watching my baby get stuck with needles and have breathing hoses shoved in his face.
It sucked listening to him cry mama mama mama mama… over and over again for hours. Just rubbing his back and repeating, “I’m right here.” Singing Leaving on a Jet Plane, because it’s a Jack favorite. You are welcome, everybody in the emergency room on Thanksgiving. I bet you didn’t know you would get a one woman show from two curtains down.
It sucked talking to people while sweating profusely because you are wearing a giant sweater. Longing for the use of the bathroom. Both legs so asleep that if there were a fire, Jack would have to drag you to safety. But too afraid to move a muscle because this is the first time he has been comfortable enough to sleep in 12 hours.
It sucked not being with my other son on Thanksgiving.
It sucked staring up at the hospital ceiling in complete darkness. Just listening to your baby breath heavily. Bored. Sad. They said only one parent could stay, therefore, husbandless on Thanksgiving night. With my tiny hospital sheet. Hanging out in my mind. Pretty sure I inhaled too much epinephrine that day from holding Jack for hours on end while they stuck tubes in his baby face. Or it could be Mom worry that would not allow me to sleep at all. Breathe in …count to 7. Holding your… breath count to 8. Breathe out for 3. Have you ever heard of that? It’s supposed to help you go to sleep. As a ex-insomniac night owl extraordinaire, I know all the tips to possibly help you go to sleep. I had to sleep train myself so that I could live on an adult normal sleep schedule. Haha. SO I’ve tried everything. I’m racking my brain trying to think of ways to go sleep. I don’t think any of them ever worked. I think I eventually just collapsed. Exhaustion won for both Jack and I.
You are the Mom though! So you hold this ship together. That’s your job. This isn’t about you. It’s about him.
You eventually break out of the joint. Looking very hospital chic. By that, I mean smelly. People aren’t sure if you are headed to pick up a shift guarding a bridge. But instead they say, “aww he’s so cute, how old?” I say, “He’s 45. We are here for his Benjamin Button treatment.” Haha. Well okay, so I didn’t say that. But it would have been pretty awesome if I did!
Eventually you see the bright light of the day. It takes a minute for your eyes to adjust to the outdoors, considering you have been sitting with Jack in the hospital while he was in baby prision. Let’s just say, Jack did not love the baby cage crib of the pediatric wing. It was what I imagine it would be like to hang out with a small sick lion who loves me.
You hug the nurse who walked you out. You say, Jack, “Give him a high five!” Jack says, “No dank you.” The nurse says, “Fair enough!” and laughs as he walks back inside to take care of every one else.
You hate that your child had to go through this. Seeing your kid sick or in pain is the worst. In the end though, it is always a humbling life wake up call.
So as you stared at the hospital ceiling on the night of Thanksgiving, having long textual conversation with people in Alaska, you start to access you life. What’s important vs. what’s not important. also, what you are THANKFUL for.
- Whether I go shopping on black Friday or not.
- What should I do about my hair! I had babies and my hair isn’t curly any more. It’s like I lost half my personality. Still, not that important.
- If I loose all the baby weight by Summer 2016.
- How I’m going to have time to pick up pies for Thanksgiving. And if I didn’t get them, would I be very rude?
- The Team
We don’t have to be best friends every day of our entire lives. That’s okay. What’s important is that we both know they we became part of something bigger when we decided to bring our cubs into the world.
He may have told me that I was “inefficient” the other day. Which I have, obviously, begrudgingly held onto. Although, in fairness, the record would state that I did call him an asshole ten minutes prior. Um, ya. Sometimes being a parent is stressful. Sometimes we argue.
But man when it is game time, he comes to play. He is the calm to my crazy. The steady to my emotional. He continues to prove over and over again that I chose the right person to spend my life with.
We are a team.
- –Nurses, doctors, techs, respiratory therapist, food service workers, the housekeeping staff that joined us in a chorus of leaving on a jet plane, volunteers who walked us from place to place (You are volunteering at a hospital on Thanksgiving? Damn, you are out of my league in being a good person.), EMTS, Firefighters, & Police.
They leave their families and holiday parties to make sure every one else is safe. So no matter what day of the year it is, my kids could find help in an emergency situation. I am still in awe of how great every one was at the hospital to us. Let’s just say, Jack was a big hit.
They didn’t even make me feel stupid when I realized I had given them Ben’s birthday instead of Jack’s while checking in. The nurse said, “Oh honey that happens all the time.” I liked her immediately.
Not to mention, they made my babe go from this..
They have made prioritizing my life as simple as ever. I will do whatever I have to do at any time to make sure they are okay. Well, I am the Mom.
Hope you hugged your family this THANKSGIVING. Hope you resisted the urge to whisper about people who are in the other room. I mean if the PROCTOR family has taught me anything, it’s that if you are going to tease someone, at least do it to their face. Haha! If you are like O-M-G I NEVER talk about other people. Do me a favor and take your hand and slap it against your face. People are fascinating. You will talk about people. Learn to spread the positive instead of the negative. You can discuss people, it just doesn’t have to be bad. It’s really your choice.
Anyways, the moral of this story is:
Make your list now.
What’s important vs. what is NOT important.
Ready. Set. Go.