All Blogs from You're Somebody's Mother, Lady Stuff:Burn the Bras

Every Once in a While, Have a Lady Party with Your Own Rules.

Bridal showers, baby showers, jewelry parties, children’s birthdays, and date night with your husband.

Sound like the majority of your social life?

Welcome to the second half of your 20s and the first half of your 30s.

I was told a couple hours after I opened a bridal shower invitation that I had glitter on my face. That means I walked around half a day bedazzled. Thanks a lot everyone who didn’t say anything!

Now it’s not that I don’t love celebrating all these amazing humans in my life, but man it’s exhausting sometimes. Putting on pants, buying an over priced card, and loaded up your entourage all over the place.

Fun, but exhausting.

All of those types of parties carry a certain stigma of what you are “supposed to do.” I’m just not a huge fan of that. If you like those traditions by all means then do it. But hearing how much complaining people do about the preparation of this type thing always is interesting to me. Because I do it too!!

So much excessive pinterest usage.

In the same conversation at a party a bride to be will say things like, “Ya we are really trying to save for a house.” Then in the next ten minutes she’s like, “Ya I just spent 500 bucks at Michael’s on wedding crafts.”

Again, please understand I know that this is your WEDDING so you should spend the money and do whatever makes you happy. It’s your day. But I’m always so fascinated by my generations culture of excessive planning and stressing themselves out for these lady parties.

Anyways, I decided to take back the night on my lady socializing. I needed some ladies and some fun. So a book club was born.

Book club? Really Brittany? Nerd alert.

Wow. Please don’t judge me.

Hear me out!

Fun is something you can bring with you to anything. Oh ya and I love reading. My brain lacks science and math but english has always been my jam.

So first, I kicked out my children and husband for the night. No one has ever concluded that being a martyr makes you a better Mother. I just spent 96 hours straight with the boys. We do everything together. I sing baby music class songs in my sleep.

The idea that I can’t have one night to myself is crazy.

Should I feel GUILTY? No. No I should not.

Because guess what? Mom’s who have interests, hobbies, thoughts of their own, and friends end up having a lot of cool life stuff to share with their children. I don’t ignore my kids and play tennis all day while the nanny takes care of them. But when I get the opportunity to laugh and be with some awesome women. I jump on it.

Sorry, I’m not sorry.

Oh and don’t worry about them. They all went down the street to my in-laws for the night. Which I call their vacation house anyways. People make grilled cheeses at any time of day and there are no regulations on TV time.

Who doesn’t love their grandparents house? So don’t feel bad for my minions.

    Next, I finally justified the endless hours I’ve spent pinning things on Pinterest by actually making something.TAH-DAH!

Then I made an itinerary for everyone. So we could laugh at it. But, obviously we did all that. And yes, I have a white board at my house. It’s usually covered in shopping lists and doctor’s appointments. It was quite satisfying to just erase the whole thing.

 

Gathering yourself around women who build each other up is amazing. Who says you can’t desire to socialize in a way where you use your brain a little and have some stimulating conversation but then let it evolve into good old fashion fun.

Your kids are safely sleeping somewhere else where they are being watched by the three adults who take care of them the most besides you. It’s funny that I have to give my self a little pep talk of justification.

Mom guilt man, it’s deep and it’s real. Lighten up Mom. Have some fun. Alright, you don’t have to tell me twice. So I got my Pinterest success, got a plan, and got some ladies I love.

We did Amy Poehler, “Yes Please.” Perfect for us because like most autobiographies, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if someone didn’t finish it.

Each separate chapter is interesting to read on it’s own. Since we are all working ladies, if people got busy with life, I still wanted them to come and participate. I also told everyone if they wanted to read more they could also read Tina Fey “Bossy Pants.”

They are both so ridiculously funny and inspiring. I would always laugh to myself when the movie “Bridesmaids” came out and people would be like “Ya it was actually really funny. Especially for being all women comedians.” Now don’t misunderstand, I know a lot of women comedians have made terrible movies. I get the stereotype. But there are plenty of really funny women out there.

It’s 2015. Join us.

So here are some quotes from “Yes Please.” Sometimes while I was reading I didn’t know if I wanted to be Amy, marry her, or have her adopt me. Either way, all she does is tell it like it is. Cause life is pretty damn funny.
 
“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people who dream, and support, and do things.”
“You can’t stand around and wait to be asked to dance.”
“I think we should stop asking people in their 20s what they ‘want to do’ and start asking them what they don’t want to do. Instead of asking students to ‘declare their major’ we should ask students to ‘list what they will do anything to avoid.’ It just makes a lot more sense.”
 
“When you are pregnant you can get sway with a lot of sh*t. Women really are at their most dangerous during this time. Your hormones are telling you that you are strong and sexy, everyone is scared of you, and you have a built-in side kick who may come out at any minute.”
“Good for her! Not for me. That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again.”
“I have realized that mystery is what keeps people away, and I’ve grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted place. So let’s peek behind the curtain and hail the others like us. The open-faced sandwiches who take risks and live big and smile with all their teeth. These are the people I want to be around. This is the honest way I want to live and love and write.”
BOOM. The book may not even be the most well written. But it was relatable to everyone in book club. She is very real and honest. It feels like she is actually talking to just you.
As for Tina Fey. If you read anything from her book, let it be this.
So stop saying you are too busy for fun. We all have a job, kids, house, life, ect. Sometimes the responsibility is soul crushing. That is exactly why you need to seize the opportunity to relax your brain and just talk and have fun. You aren’t going to see your friends every weekend like you used to. But I know I can always make time for the people I love best.

Other funny women books that I love include:
 Sarah Silverman- Bed Wetter
 Chelsea Handler- My Horizontal Life
 Leah Dunham- Not That Kind of Girl
 Mindy Kaling- Is Everyone hanging out with out me?

ONLY CONS TO BOOK CLUB:
-The next day you have so many snacks left over that you ate 3 cookies while typing this blog.
-Two friends couldn’t make it at the last minute. So you got distracted thinking about how great and brave and awesome they are.
-Natural consequences of dancing in the moonlight. You are still Mom at 8 am the next day. So you basically have to suck it up and rally. Ben’s face is like, Lady I don’t care what you feel like.. we have some blocks to stack.

Next book club we are thinking of the book “Wild” and having a camp out in my yard. Have book club around the fire. I am MOST DEFINTELY  putting out the fire “Are you afraid of the dark style!” It’s really the little things in life. Haha!

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