Deciding to Take a Great Picture of Your Kids.

 Mother’s day and Father’s day are right around the corner. With both your baby daddy and his parents and your parents. You figure you should make something good for everybody. Considering the last two years you have been too pregnant to function during this time period. No one got any thing thoughtful. Every one got something that rhymes with gift certificate. So you set out on a mission. You are going take an epic picture of the boys and make photo mugs for everyone! Haha. A lot of the people I love, drink a lot of coffee. They can only have so many pictures of my kids hanging on their walls until it becomes a bit excessive. So coffee mugs it is.
 But alas, you can’t just DECIDE to take a magical picture. Declaring that you will is actually the kiss of death. Good pictures come randomly from your iPhone. The universe doesn’t care that you have your nice nikon camera and the sun in shinning. It doesn’t mean any one will ever look up at you, even tho you are snapping your fingers above your head like a crazy person. I actually took the mistletoe from our kitchen when I was trying to take a picture for Ben’s first xmas card and shook it over my head. He was so mesmerized by the bells. Um yes, I did hypnotize my baby into looking at the camera. But look at this…
 Ah yes, Spring has sprung. AKA the snow has melted and people are dressing inappropriately just to prove a point that we are done with Winter. Mr. sun has shown his face, therefore, we must go frolic in the yard as all true New Englanders do in Spring.
 It takes you what feels like an hour to get them both dressed. They both look kind of crabby, but with the effort you just put in to cutely clothe them, there is no turning back now.
 Both boys are wearing baby Carhart overalls that the Dad bought them at Cabelas on his way home from Maine. My husband has a disease that  has symptoms including a need to go to Cabelas every single time we drive up the coast of Maine. But I must admit. They are pretty cute. Okay so dress ’em up! STAGING the memories for the sake of a photo mug! You look at them. They look adorable. You say to your self. Damn I should hashtag this #carhartkids. The company will see it and then obviously let me know that I have the cutest kids to ever wear their overalls. I’d say, Thank you. I made them myself. Not the overalls, the humans.
 But again, I digress. So back to the photo mug at hand.
 I learned many reasons why it is challenging to take a photograph of two boys, 7 and 20 months. It’s kind of like trying to baptize multiple cats at once. I will save you the suspense and just let you know that it didn’t work out for us today. So I made a list of 13 reasons Ben & Jack W thought I shouldn’t take their picture today.
#1 You put us in baby jail. 
We will never look at you at the same time again.
# 2 Give us FREE.
#3 We can’t focus when Dad is running a bobcat RIGHT THERE!
#4 Lady did you hear me? I said Dad and a Bobcat. We have to get over there.
#5 Then Papa shows up. Good luck now.
#6 You know we need frequent snack breaks
# 7 Had to have a quick construction zone play date. 
 #8 Let’s just say…. People got tired.
#9 You enlist Dad to help you keep us together? Haha. He’s an amateur.
# 10 DOG BUTT 
Bandit flashing brown eye during your precious memories. Oh and also Bandit, Thanks for a winter’s worth of dog poop on the lawn. Just when you think you’ve got it all… dog shit on your new running shoes.
#11 Language barrier. By “hug Jack” did you mean stick my knees in his back?
# 12 Mean muggin is fun.
#13 And mostly because I’m 1. 
So I do what I want.


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