Okay, now promise to hear me out. Don’t get all crazy and Mom defensive until the end. These are just thoughts. Get off your high horse and keep your mind open.
I see something happening with children. We have now taught them to self advocate better. If you are being bullied, SAY SOMETHING. We have all seen the commercial. Good! I’m on board with that.
I’m all about self advocation. But where do we draw the line and let them learn how to stand up for themselves. Learn to brush things off. Learn that you won’t always have an adult to fix all your problems. Learn to just walk away from people who are mean without needing to seek justice for this little punk.
“Frances ripped up my black bat!”
Well guess what Ben, a lot of people are going to rip up your black bat in your life.
I see it every day. Kids using the term “bullying” as a synonym for “mean.”
I hear people say, “we need to stop bullying!” Like it is something that is going to be gone from schools completely. Ya, that would be awesome but it’s never going to happen. The issue with this is that children are honest assholes. There will always be rude things said. There will always be scuffles to be broken apart. Kids have to learn and develop.
Now almost weekly I will hear some child use the term, “bullied me.”
Okay, “Yes Michael called you a fat turd. That was mean. You should tell him that was mean. You should also tell him you aren’t going to play with him if he is mean to you. Then you should go play with some different toys and be like later dude.”
Helping kids differentiating the little from the BIG is becoming a lost skill.
Does Michael stalk you around the playground daily and launch rocks at you?
Because Mama bear will join that fight. Not in our house. Bring the claws.
A very wise man I know deems this phenomenom, “the pussification of America.”
Big D’s words, not mine.
Your kid is going to get called a fat turd at some point. It’s a sad truth. I was called fat a whole bunch of times. Along with an assortment of other words that are not appropriate for the Mom blog.
Did it hurt?
Could you have told me it wasn’t a big deal when I was a teenager?
Oh well, you are intensely socially developing while you are in your adolescence. Then you spend all day, every day with your peers in a social melting pot called school. Shit is going to happen.
Possibly the most important life skill my Dad gave his children was teaching them to rally. To accept disappointment. To dust yourself off and get right back up.
Nothing any one says can define you.
You define you.
Your actions define you.
It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to what happens to you.
I’m going to need to teach this to my boys. How? I’m not sure. But you should most definitely STAY TUNED.