I have to decided to write the boys letters every year on their birthdays.
Put them in an envelope and keep them all stored away. Give them to them when they flee our home someday in search of themselves, love, and independence.
Especially if I’m not around one day! I know, DARK. But life is real my friends.
This years theme leaned a lot towards what I want for them in life. I won’t share the letters because they are only for them. But I will pull out a list of topics I did touch upon when writing to them this year.
I want you to be a good listener.
You won’t ever experience a great relationship unless you are a good listener. It will solve a lot of your problems. “Be a good listener” is the best relationship advice any one can ever give you. It applies to straight couples, lesbians, gay men, lovestruck teenagers, and elderly couples who married for companionship. So love who ever you want to love. But you have to listen and not just wait for your turn to speak.
I want you to be brave.
One day you will do something dumb. You will mess up. You are a human being. Be brave enough to make things right. Be brave enough to tell the truth. Be brave enough to let it go. Don’t be a coward. Especially when it comes to cheating. Get some balls and break up with the person like a decent human being. Your relationship is obviously already over. Cheating on someone and them finding out is a good way to ruin a person. How will they trust again? Don’t be that guy. You don’t have to stay with someone. But you do have to end things like a man.
I want you to treat your body nicely.
It is your vessel. How you eat is your fuel. You can’t forget that. Eat ice cream. Have a pizza party. But don’t forget to eat as many green vegetables as you can see. Take a multi vitamin. Drink so much water. It is scientifically proven that diet effects your mood. Do you want to be a happy person? You can literally, choose to be happy. You don’t have to be a health nut. But you also don’t need to treat your body like a trash can. You deserve to be your best self.
I want you to be a forever learner.
Don’t stop learning because you left school. Now focus on learning about things that you like. It makes you a more interesting person. People want to be around interesting people. Go to the public library because its peaceful and awesome. Hide from every one. You don’t have to read novels. Just learn something.
I want you to learn how to READ A ROOM.
Enter a situation. Think about who is around. Adjust your behavior accordingly.
Is there children around? Are you at school? Are you in a professional situation? Are you meeting your significant others parents for the first time? Are you at a baptism? Don’t swear in any of these situations. Never necessary. I know you will say bad words in your life time. That’s okay. Just know when to not make yourself look like a jackass. (See how I did that? That was a correct time to swear because I was proving a very serious Mom point.) Only exception is if you break your leg. People forgive you in those situations.
Example: Cell phone.
Is someone speaking publicly in front of you? Are you in class?
Get off your phone. You can lay in bed and scroll thru mindlessness crap on your phone when you get home. Be present where you are. Technology is great but our need to be entertained 24/7 is getting kinda gross. If you are on your phone while someone is speaking, your body language is sending the message to the speaker that you don’t really care about what they have to say. Com’on! It’s social thinking people.
“Well, uhh, I’ll have you know, I was answering a text message from my babysitter about my CHILD.”
Umm.. calm down lady. It doesn’t matter what the reason you were on your phone was. The person speaking will still read it as rude. Considering they are trying to give you information. Especially if it is a teacher. That person worked hard to prepare and deliver you this information. At least be a decent human being and just doodle super man S’s, rows of hearts, and your name on your notebook. It at least looks like you are taking notes. You can still retain knowledge by doodling and listening. I’m living proof of that. Don’t piss off the teacher. They are the ones who grade you.
I want you to be friendly.
You do not need to be best friends with every one. But you do need to be nice to people you come across. To this day, I still love when I walk down the canal early in the morning and people won’t even say hi to you when you walk past them. Like you and them. Not another human being in sight. Hmm.. Let’s quickly stare in other directions? That’s even more awkward. I could reach out and touch you right now as we pass by each other but you would rather die than make eye contact with me. I’m not going to stop and ruin your morning ritual. I get it. That’s why I’m on the canal at 7:30 am running threw the fog as well. Just a nod. Or a “Morning” would be sufficient. Your life can change if you start being nice to people. Oh New England.
I want you to know you are loved.
Don’t ever forget it.