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An Apology to My Second Child

Dear Smudgy Baby,

You are the best surprise of my life. Your brother was 3 months old when you were concieved.


Don’t worry, we hoped our children would be close in age, and there you were.


Yet having a second baby at anytime is challenging, never mind the craziness of having two under two years old. Therefore, I apologize for becoming every cliche of having a second baby vs. what you did the first time around.

It just somehow happens…

Here’s the truth:

I forgot to buy you a baby book before we went to the hospital. At the hospital I made the nurse ink your feet onto a piece of computer paper that I planned to tape into your baby book.

Classy right?

I’m even MORE sorry that I’m too tired right now to go upstairs and take a photo of said printed feet. I’ve gone up and down those stairs 15 times today and it’s only 10 AM.


I’m sorry I forgot month stickers for you.

With your brother, he basically had photo shoots. I was pregnant and loved using my new camera. He was handsome and had no choice but to do what I wanted.



You on the other hand,

We started out strong.



Sometimes people got in the way! They will remain nameless, but here is s hint.

jack6 jack7

Real nice, Bandit.


Don’t worry, your babyhood was documented well. Maybe not in chronological order, but in your Mom’s own messy brain way.



Then one day I was like, “Holy crap you are 9 months old? Are you sure?”

I grabbed the sticker pack and I was like, “Oh shit, babies grow fast.”



By the later months, I was waving my white flag.







You never stopped moving.






Ultimately, you learned how to take your clothes off. So game over.



I’m sorry that at 17 months old when you climbed out of your crib, so we caged you.

I’m sorry but you were not ready for a toddler bed. You were a wild monkey and a danger to yourself and our house.

Fortunately, your Dad builds things for a living so he can make some pretty cool stuff. It’s quite impressive actually.

So he cut the bottom of your crib and lowered it to the floor. Then bolted it back onto the legs of the crib.


See this is the older sons crib, which is set up correctly.


(He has been able to climb out for a year but just doesn’t. We won’t dive into drastic personality differences of siblings right now. We don’t have all day.)


Then this is you. This is your fortress of solitude.



Now please remember that if you are thinking of trying this, not all cribs will work. Smudgy’s bottom bar of his crib was the right height that this worked. Kiddo safety is always the most important, so don’t try this if you don’t know what you are doing. 

I’m sorry that I was glowing with smiles the first morning you woke up and realized you couldn’t get out. You were so pissed. Screaming like you were going to summon a winter that would last 1,000 years. I just kept smiling. So happy that you were safe again.


You know what? Maybe I’m not sorry. Maybe you see missing monthly sticker pictures. But truth be told, I was too busy saving your life from your brother.




Working a full time job being awesome for other people’s kids.



Trying to LOVE the crap out of your Father. Because guess what honey? Relationships + small children = 50% most beautiful crap you’ve ever seen 50% tornado on your marriage.




So maybe I did more things I pinned on Pinterest with your brother. Went to more Mommy and me yoga classes with your brother. Took more pictures of your brother…

I guess I just need you to understand that none of that really matters.

You completed our family.

You started our adventure.

You brought beautiful chaos to our world.

Don’t ever wonder if I love you or your brother more. Because the answer will always be the same. I love you both more than I thought I was capable of loving anyone.


Credit where credit is due:

Top photo: Renee Bello Photography

Bottom photos: Catie McDade Photography

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