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28 Things I Learned in 28 Years

Today I am 28.999999 years old.
 
 I like birthdays. 
 
But I have to ask myself, what have I learned in 28 years? I mean I’m definitely much wiser these days. No one could pay me to drink a box o’ wine. I’ve evolved. Haha.
Well, sorta.
 28 Things I Learned in 28 Years 

1. Fun is something you bring with you.
   Technology is such a blessing and a curse. We now all believe we need to be entertained 24/7 and it should come from an outside source.

I constantly watch people play on their phones in social situations.

I’m guilty as well, but it still annoys me!

Too bad that all the best fun always comes from our own heads!! You can have fun anywhere. Especially if you surround yourself with the right people.

Invent games.

Have long conversations.

Walk.

Laugh.

Roll down hills.

Create obstacle courses.

Use your brain.

Don’t just watch a screen.

Create the fun for yourself. 




2. Chaos proceeds all great changes.- Deepak Chopra
         
     The highs and lows of life make for a rocky road. Keep going. It will get better. 


3. Learn to swim

 

Most of the planet is water. You would be more likely to die in a natural disaster. This is a life saving skill.
But more importantly it soothes your soul. 

4. Dance even if you are bad, sing even if you are worse.
  I like to tell people my instrument of choice is the rainstick. I’m tone deaf. I have a loud powerful voice, but I can’t sing to save my life.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t sing and dance.

Spontaneous dance parties are easily in my top 5 of favorite things to occur in a day.

Moving your body is good for your mind. Good for your soul. How can you care what Debbie downers sitting on the sidelines think when you are having that much fun?? 



5. GIRLS NEED GIRLS

      “Marrying my best friend today!” says every girls Facebook status. Well your husband should be ONE of your best friends.

But who are you going to talk to when you want to strangle him?

Women need women.  Find your tribe. Support each other. 



6. DO YOGA

Every damn day.
Start doing it.
See how your body feels.
LOVE your body.
“I’m not flexible enough for yoga.” You say.
That’s a silly thing to say. Don’t say that. That’s like saying you are too dirty to take a bath. I’ve got two metal rods in my spine and I am a yogi. 



7. You will lose friends

Geography. Careers. Kids. Time. Life. You don’t have to have gotten into an argument with someone for them not to be your friend anymore at this point in life.

You can love a lot of people in a lot of places. But it doesn’t mean you always get to still talk to them all the time. Life evolves. People change. It’s all part of growing up.

Don’t worry. The right people for you will stick around.  

8. An elephant is pregnant for 2 years.

FUN ANIMAL FACT ALERT! 2 years to have a baby for our elephant friends.

My favorite midwife used to refer to my pregnancies as my elephant gestation. The boys are a year apart so I never actually stopped seeing her.

Oh so funny. It’s all fun and games until you have to give birth to a baby the size of an elephant.

9. Don’t treat adults like they know everything, and don’t treat kids like they know nothing.

   One of the only benefits of having your parents get divorced between the ages of 16-19 is that you find out most adults are full of crap and don’t even know what they are talking about at an early age.

Don’t get that statement twisted. NOT all adults are like that. But just because someone is older, doesn’t always make them wiser. 
      On the flip side of that, always remember that kids are taking in more than you think. They are perceptive and even babies can feel the mood you are giving off.

Be kind and respectful to kids. Just cause they are young does not make them less important humans.

10. LAUGH,LAUGH,LAUGH
    

Then laugh some more.



11. If the opportunity presents itself, try living somewhere new.
         
        One time I was lost. In life.

I was supposed to be this adult.

I was supposed to have a perfect plan. I didn’t.

What I did do was pack two suit cases of clothes and buy a one way ticket to Charleston, South Carolina where my Sister and her man friend lived. I didn’t even live there very long. But I met wonderful people. Laughed till my face hurt. Danced on the beach. Worked with people who were kind. Jumped on trampolines. Swam in an ocean that felt like piss compared to New England. Lived with the two people who loved me no matter how strange or messy I was.

They took care of me.

They made me happy again.

They shared with me how fun it is to explore the world. You can always go back to where you came from before, but you will not be the same person that left. That’s the beauty of travel. 

12. Educate yourself in other ways than just attending a school.


-Read
-Listen to what people have to say
-Research online
-Get outside and experience
Be a life long learner! You create your life syllabus.

13. SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
   
Be nice to people. They will be nice to you.




14. Broken hearts shape your life.
       
       A nameless ghost of an ex boyfriend of mine once convinced me it was a good idea to leave the surf beach in South Carolina and come back up to “see if things could ever work out again between us.” I moved back to good old New England. Spent the whole weekend with him. Went to dinner with his entire family. Then he never talked to me again. I found out later that he had ALREADY had a new girlfriend.

Digest that. Good times right?

Well, times… 
    My sister and I got dumped one Summer and we call that “the Summer of no love.” We were positive we would never be okay again.

Playing our violins as loud as we could. Blasting sad love ballads in my purple chevy cavalier. No amount of miller lite and reading cosmo in the sun could fix this broken heart.

Every one says… “You deserve better!” Ya right, I think. “You should broken up with him along time ago.” Umm.. Still doesn’t ease the pain. That just means I’m not smart AND got dumped. “One day you will be okay again.” YA RIGHT.
    Then a funny thing happened one day.

I was okay.

My sister was okay.

Life changed again. That person I thought I couldn’t live without turned out to be an anchor that only held me back. But, I’ll never regret a day.

I learned so much about what I wanted in life.

Because in the most cliche way possible… GOD BLESS THE BROKEN ROAD THAT LEAD ME STRAIGHT TO YOU! Thanks Rascal Flatts, you know what’s up. If I didn’t get hurt or treated badly. I wouldn’t have my husband now.

The only person who has ever deserved to be my husband.

We wouldn’t have gotten to create the COOLEST people I’ve ever know.

We CREATED people. When you think about that it’s hard to even look back and care. 




15. Don’t be afraid to say, “I am not okay.” “I need help.” 

Being tough, strong and brave is great. But identifying when you need to ask for help is greater. People never cease to amaze me how kind they can be if you let them in. 

16. Write in a journal

You can learn SO much about yourself from writing in a journal. Nothing crazy.

No “Dear diary, I’m so sad.”

Just a book in your nightstand that you write little notes on when you feel like it.

I started mine when I was pregnant with Ben. It’s so interesting to look back on. It’s crazy how many times I used the word “anxious” while I was pregnant with Jack. You can start to see patterns about yourself that you can’t see in the present moment. And what could be more important in life than self discovery??

Bonus idea: Write a fun note for you spouse or kids that they can find after your funeral. I know, Dark. But awesome! 

 

I spelled probably wrong. Haha. How embarrassing. Still makes me laugh. 


17. Have friends of all ages

  My favorite part of adult hood is having friends who are bother WAY younger and WAY older. You grow up and you usually hang out with people who are in your grade. It’s preferable when you are learning social skills and other life lessons, but it is not optimal for adulthood.

I genuinely love people from the ages ZERO to 70. People I call a friend.

I learn from them. I laugh with them. I like people who are not all the same. 


18. Children who need the most love, ask for it in the most unloving ways.

   Don’t forget this.   



19. Being obsessed with cultural norms will never help you find happiness. 

  Watching everyone I’ve grown up with start to get married and have babies has been pretty amazing.

Don’t get married cause society says so.

Get married cause you couldn’t imagine a day without that person.

Don’t have babies because your Mother is hounding you about starting a family. Do it because YOU want your life to head that way.  If you don’t want to get married…. DON’T GET MARRIED. It’s hard enough already. If you don’t want to have kids. DON’T HAVE KIDS. Repeat after me, “Good for you, not for me.” 
    People don’t belong in a box. One day when you stop thinking there is a correct way to live life, you will understand better how to be happy. 
   On the flip side, if you aren’t engaged at 28 like your “master plan” reads. Um, relax. Don’t marry some ding dong just because you are sick of being a bridesmaid. You deserve better.


20. DON’T JUDGE SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. You have never walked in any one else’s shoes.
  

 



21. Hang out with animals

Sometimes they are better company  than people. Your dog doesn’t care if you have showered yet. He doesn’t care that you are in a bad mood. He definitely doesn’t care if you are rich or famous. All animals care about is if you are nice to them, feed them, and spoon them tenderly.

22. Donate your time to SOMETHING.
        
      One of the best events I have ever taken part in was the Avon breast cancer walk. I met amazing people. I raised $2,100! I walked so long that I had to wear slippers for two days following the event. I was humbled by the awesomeness of the people I met there. People who were brave. People who were strong. People who cared. 
      I am also a huge fan of the special olympics. If you have never taken part in an event you are MISSING OUT! Those kids have changed my life.    

23. The most memorable people in your life are the ones that love you when you aren’t very lovable.




24. Figure out YOUR meditation.

          For most modern day Americans, meditation is not in their daily routine. Or is it? What do you think running is?? Alone with your mind. A moment of peace in your day. Hearing the beat of your feet hitting the pavement over and over again. Umm… Ya you are meditating actively. Some people say they cook or clean when they are mad. That is the same thing friends. Of course, it would preferable that you could take 20 mins out of your day to actually sit down and meditate, but in this busy world sometimes that doesn’t happen. So what is your calm? It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it relaxes you!




25. Everything is better outside.


Go to the beach. Go to the mountains. Sit on a patio. Listen to birds. Eat snow. Watch sunsets. Rub your feet in dirt. Get vitamin D. See the world. 

26. TAKE CHANCES. 
   

              Once upon a time, 
I asked this guy out. 

Haha. How modern. 

But what did I have to lose? Ya if he was like “Uhh.. I’m really busy with work right now.” That would be horrifying and a lie of course. Ladies, no guy in the history of guys has ever turned down an opportunity to date a girl they are REALLY interested in.  “I’m too busy with school.” “I’ve got a lot on my plate.” All lies! I mean com’on.. He’s just not that into you 101.  But if he had said no, I would have licked my wounds and moved on with my life.  I have experienced far more embarrassing things than that.

But in this love story, he said yes. So instead, I got a husband who loves me, the stinkiest dog in the neighborhood, two small human creatures that look at me like I shit rainbows, and one dead goat buried in the yard of my first ever home that I own. #somothertruckinblessed

You have to try! You have to seize the day! For once my impulsiveness had a serious victory! It was bound to happen eventually and the events that followed were the happiest of my life. If you never take a chance, nothing interesting will happen to you. You will just be complacent.

27. Take a multivitamin. 

 Oh you are perfect at eating? Well, I’m not. Supplements are not a substitute for great diet, but what’s really the harm? Just making sure you get all those good vitamins everyday! 


28. Nobody’s coming to save you, save yourself.

True that Nora. 
Peace out 28.

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