New Life, New Body, Welcome to Motherhood


Everyone’s always blabbing on about baby weight.

Don’t get me wrong the baby weight is at times an unavoidable truth that’s hanging out. Literally, hanging out of the top of your jeans. Muffin top high five!

My husband and I were having a gentleman’s crown and ginger at the kitchen table the other night and I said, “It’s annoying that I’ve been working this hard and eating so well, and yet all the weight I gained with Jack has become my Hulk costume. All my Mom friends are skinny again.”

Husband so elegantly says, “Britt we are all fat now. Welcome to your 30’s.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe we all are a little rounder but everyone’s personalities are so much better. Every one has cooler travel stories and decisions aren’t governed by raging teenage hormones. I see so many people starting to be truly comfortable being themselves. So I’m happy to be where I am. Now excuse me, while I lay on the bed and yank up my spanx.

Anyways, baby weight? That’s really only one small piece of the process of your body healing from pregnancy and childbirth. Now I know some of you will read this and be like long term healing? What are you talking about Britt? I ran a 5k, 7 weeks after giving birth. Well pin a rose on your nose. I’m proud of you and psyched that everything went so well for you. Yet, my story is a little different. It’s not tragic or medically excessive. It’s just that everything is different.

Everything is different.

After carrying and giving birth to two 10 lb giant man babies 13 months apart…


–My digestive system is out of whack. I’ve never experienced digestive issues in my whole life. Now wheat hates me. Alcohol hates me. Since I have cut out Gluten and for the most part Dairy, when I eat anything of that nature now, my stomach hates me. It blows up and gets hard. Sometimes I feel pressure pain. Sometimes I just feel like absolute crap. Good times, well, times.


–My feet are bigger, but had no business getting bigger in the first place. It’s too bad that I’m a terrible water skier, because I know have my own pair.


–I have what they refer to as “chicken skin” all over my arms and shoulders. My skin has always been clear. Not sensitive and something I liked about myself. After I gave birth to the Smudgy baby, everything changed.  Who knows if this is the food sensitivity or hormone related.


–The weight of carrying man beasts on my back was intense. When I go to yoga, I feel like I’m literally putting my body back together. Constant shoulder and neck pain. When I went to get a massage recently, the woman said, “Listen, i’m not saying this to try and get your business. I’m saying, seriously, the knots in your back are crazy. You need to make a point to come and get this all worked out.”


— I was already a moody, intense, crazy person  (I say that with love.) But when the time came to become a Mom and I couldn’t breastfeed my first son. I was emotional and discouraged. So the first two weeks I brought home my beautiful giant sack of baby, I cried every day, all day. I didn’t feel disconnected to him. Our connection was amazing and life altering. I didn’t feel like I was going to hurt myself. I was just leaking. Crying could happen for many reasons besides sadness.

Talk to my Dad on the phone = cry.

Tried to put breast milk every 3 hours around the clock. Only to end up sitting in the dark swearing that the breast pump noise is saying a word. You feel it may be taunting you. = cry.

Husband asks you how you are feeling = cry.

Go to breast feeding support group = cry = then never go back.

The midwife was like, “So this is what we call ‘baby blues…”

So like I always say, “if I ever met Tom Cruise, i’d slap him in the face.”



–All hair on my body grows faster. Aw, how fun. It’s all fun and games until you see a giant random single black chest hair. Your like HOW could I have possibly not seen that coming? How could it have gotten so long without me noticing? Sorcery.


—My HAIR is not half as curly as it used to be…

I know, it hurts and it’s real.

This is what my hair used to look like without me doing anything but putting leave in conditioner in it:


I have a lot of hair:


Growing up without google and youtube telling you “how-to” do anything videos. I was left to figure out what to do with this mop of crazy hair. My options were my Mom who wouldn’t even help me deal with my unibrow or friends who looked like barbies.


I didn’t have the beauty intelligence to realize what works for one person may be the complete wrong thing to do for another. Trying to fit in when you are young, actually makes you really stupid.

Through trial and error, the birth of the internet, the ability to buy anything online, adding curly haired friends to my life, and dumb luck, I finally figured out what to do with this mop.




The transition into motherhood is challenging enough. Then on top of that, I wake up to this…




Haha okay, that was dramatic.


But it really is completely different!! Women’s bodies literally never stop evolving. My husband will wear the same dress shirt he wore 10 years ago. I put on a pair of pants I wore last week and I can’t breath. It is pretty ridiculous.

The positive side to an ever changing pregnancy body is healthy growing hair. I was able to donate 16 inches to Wigs for kids!



What’s my point?

-Do not be afraid pregnant lady reading this. The only rule about having kids is there are no rules. You may experience many similar things as me. You may experienced nothing like that. What you gain puts your entire life in perspective. It’s worth it. You’ll see.

-I can’t believe my hair won’t curl anymore.

-If you feel alone that your body is doing weird things after procreating, you are not alone. The change to motherhood is emotional, mental, and physical. Don’t expect to feel like yourself 3 months later. Maybe you won’t feel like yourself until 2 years later. Just keep taking care of yourself. Then one day you will realize you aren’t trying to feel “like yourself” anymore. You are a new, stronger person.






Disclaimer: If your like umm well Britt, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant two years in a row. It’s recommended you let your body heal before becoming pregnant again. So why did you do that? 

That is a fair question. But if I knew why I did anything we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation.

More importantly, I wouldn’t have this…..


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